![]() The sole decorations other than a thirsty-looking potted plant were two black-and-white photos depicting the Yosemite Valley, of the sort you might find hanging above the Keurig machine at a business hotel, and a red neon sign spelling out “10,000 Hours” - the pop-science creative-labor catchphrase made famous by Malcolm Gladwell - that would fit in nicely above the kombucha tap at a co-working space.īillie, 18, and Finneas, 22, have an easy, unabashed intimacy. Pressed against the far wall was an upright Kawai piano. On a table in the center of the living room were a computer and a microphone. March 28, 2019Įven for a place no one calls home anymore, Finneas’s house felt notably bare. In 2019, he moved to yet another house, with his girlfriend, and repurposed this one as a place to hang out and record - it has also served as a “safe spot,” as Billie put it, since the address of the family bungalow leaked online last year.īillie Eilish Is Not Your Typical 17-Year-Old Pop Star. She had barely finished the story when Finneas himself walked through the front door. As she spoke, I could see her left eyebrow twitching - Billie has been given a diagnosis of Tourette’s syndrome, which manifests mainly in facial tics and muscle tensing. Her hair was dyed ink-black with a seepage of acid green at the scalp, and she wore an all-black outfit: an oversize bowling shirt printed with an image of two women, wearing crowns, covered in blood and kissing, and cargo pants that, in their stylized profusion of straps and pockets, struck a compromise between goth and SWAT. ![]() Recounting this episode, Billie sat cross-legged on the living-room couch at Finneas’s house, mashing her mismatched Air Jordan 1s into the cushions. “It became this huge thing, and I locked myself in my room, and I was in there, just drawing on my wall.” And Finneas said, I don’t want to write a song about you killing yourself and how that’s everything you wanted!” Her parents caught wind of the argument and, along with Finneas, grew “insanely concerned,” Billie said. A very serious step that I was admitting that I was planning on taking. But it was me admitting to something that was very serious about my depression. I don’t know how to put it without actually saying it, and I don’t want to actually say it. It wasn’t a physical thing I was admitting. “Because I admitted something that I was, uh. (Their parents, working actors who augmented their income with side jobs in construction and teaching, still sleep on a futon in the living room.) Finneas, facing a keyboard, listened as Billie talked about her dream, and together they figured out some chords to frame Billie’s deceptively upbeat opening line - “I had a dream I got everything I wanted.”Īs they worked on the song, though, Finneas grew increasingly uncomfortable, then angry, and finally he refused to go any further. In 2018, Finneas bought a house of his own, but his childhood bedroom, abutting Billie’s, has long been their favorite place to make music. They have collaborated on every piece of music she has put out, and she presented the dream to him as possible inspiration for a new song.Įilish, whose full name is Billie Eilish Pirate Baird O’Connell, was raised in a two-bedroom, 1,200-square-foot Craftsman bungalow in a modest neighborhood on Los Angeles’s east side. The next day, she approached her older brother, Finneas O’Connell, a songwriter and producer, and told him about it. “I was in a really bad place mentally,” Eilish said the dream struck her less as a nightmare than as a grimly alluring fantasy. ![]() What was most alarming about it, as she looked back, was how little it alarmed her. “I jumped off a building,” she recalled recently. 4, 2018, Billie Eilish took her own life - in a dream.
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